Meditation

Today the goddess sat with me in a field.  It was a beautiful day, sunny, windy without being hot or cold.

She was wearing running clothes, and got up to run away from me, calling for me to run with her.  I ran behind her, and then with her, and eventually fell, winded, and exhausted, but not unhappy, not defeated, just challenged to do better the next time.

I noticed that I was running without my crutches, and asked her what that was about.  She said that I was going to need to learn to run.  I said that I couldn't and she dropped a bag on the ground beside me.  It was full of marijuana leaves. 

I looked up at her quizically, blinded from seeing her face by the sun behind her, and she said "the drugs you are on are not working."

So, I have another mandate for my health care, this one quite direct.  I have been hemming and hawing about what to do about pain control because I finally have some, but it is true that it isn't actually fixing anything.  Pain control is about controlling pain.

Perhaps it is time to think about trying to remediate the illness.

As I said in my meditation, thank you Ma'am.

an amber bracelet on a wrist walking beside me
amber and silver beaded brooches
bead necklaces

i am supposed to be making jewellery i think

at least that is what i take out of today's meditation.

today i felt the Goddess in my meditation
hands and arms went numb, vision darkened, breathing quickened
i am still aware of my surroundings, but there is a feeling that i am about to travel to somewhere else.

i almost made it to another place, but i think i am stopping myself.

i think i could cross over.
it feels like seizuring, and i am afraid

the estos are right about there are 3 states where the soul leaves the body, because mine was about to today.

i think i may need someone to watch over me while i do this.

Job advice

The runes have a sense of humour.  I drew one to ask whether I should be asking them advice at all, and got Pertho, the dice cup - as in, well - what do you expect, you're asking a bag of rocks...but also, that the danger lies in not making a choice...

So I am supposed to remain focused on my goal, and stay true to my course.

Today's meditation was job advice. Thank you Goddess. I will try.